Within a year

A year ago. This month. Totally different.
A year ago, I got my bad times.
Losing someone and struggling to survive, to keep my life going well.
Don't you think it was such a difficult thing to do? To pretend like you're okay with everything, you're okay to accepting the destiny? It's hard. Really. And I've done that.
I cried everynight, after 16 hours full of activities... School, course, assigments. Everyday I woke up with same feelings, hidden all those sprinkles all day long.
Sat on the edge of my bed, thinking of you, thinking of our best moments, and cried in the silence as hard as I want. That's how I said I miss you a year ago. Begging time to heal the pain, wishing everything could just turn out like before, but I have to through that. And see? I'm done with that thing.
As the time passed by, you back without I'm asking you to. Love knows where it belongs. I don't need to beg you to stay with me forever, because if we're meant to be we will find our own way, destiny will lead us. And this time, I thank to God that I'm not as weak as I used to.
And I pray to God, if you're good enough for me then let it be just like this. I'm happy for now, I'm blessed to having you. But, I'm afraid if someday....I'll be having my bad parts again...

Coretan Malam

Malam ini aku hanya ingin membuat serangkaian kata-kata membentuk sebuah frasa yang nantinya bisa ku kenang.
Di temani dinginnya angin malam dan sinar bulan aku menyadari bahwa setiap peristiwa-peristiwa dalam hidup tidak bisa diulang, bahkan walau hanya untuk sepersekian detik.
Aku melihat ke belakang dan sadar ternyata waktu berjalan pada rotasinya tanpa memedulikan permintaan orang-orang untuk berhenti, ya berhenti sejenak.
Aku tersenyum membaca dan mengingat cerita-ceritaku dulu dan tidak menyangka bahwa aku pernah melewati itu semua. Lucu memang ketika kita menertawakan hal yang pernah membuat kita sangat sedih, di suatu waktu kita menangis sementara di waktu lain kita tersenyum karena suatu hal yang sama.
Aku sedih membaca dan mengingat cerita-cerita bahagiaku dulu dan menyadari bahwa semuanya telah berubah. Aku sedih ketika semua senyuman-senyuman itu tidak bisa diulang. Ketika kenyataannya kita tidak sedekat dulu, kita tidak lagi menertawakan hal yang membuat kita bahagia dulu, kita tidak lagi sama seperti sebelumnya.
Oleh sebab itu, aku hanya ingin menikmati dan membuat kenangan untukku di masa depan nanti. Membuat sebuah memori yang bisa di putar secara terus-menerus dan merasakannya pernah terjadi dalam hidupku. Ini nyata, kita pernah di pertemukan dalam suatu waktu. Aku pernah berada dalam hidupmu, dan kamu pernah mengisi hari-hariku.

Missing my blog

Hi!
Been very long time since my last post, I've been through many things and by the wayyy I'm not a highschool girl anymore!
I'm now studying at Bogor Agricultural University, major Food Quality.
Actually I don't have something to write here, I'm just missing my blog and my heart is still fine (like really, I laughed at myself when I read my blog) A years ago I'm not doing well but nowww alhamdulillah everything has changed.
Hopefully this happinees longlast because you know it is really tired being sucks at many things, hopeless romantic. Such a fool yea I know.
Maybe that's all, I'm gonna continue my real life. See you!